Our Comforter

I read this the other day....

"Rest with me awhile. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits your journey."

That is exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

It's summer, I lose track of days. I measure the time in toiletries and goceries. At first we thought we'd only be here until the end of June. Now it'll be the end of July at the soonest. I would go to the store and buy the 4 pack of toilet paper and the travel size shampoo knowing we have all that stuff in a truck somewhere on its way to us. Now, our stuff is going to storage. We've added a month to the in-between stage. I've given in, bought the "family size" toilet paper and laundry detergent, gallon size milk. I look around and think, I can't believe we've been here 2 gallons of milk, or 4 bottles of sunscreen long.

We've seemed to settle in, as much as we can. We have a bit of a routine.... Even though it includes some very none routine things, like electronics everyday and eating out couple times a week.... We've done things locals do.

Gone to doctors appointments (well visits for school).

Gone to stores, church and restaurants without the GPS. 

The boys have come up with some games they play that they have only played here.

I feel like we are on the downhill side of things, not that it's gotten easier or less stressful or things are figured out, but that we are embracing where we are and what God is doing. We can see His hand at work, even though we don't understand it all, it's still comforting. We've come to the point where we've accepted that the places we find comfort aren't the things that truly bring us comfort. We are learning to operate in His timing instead of our own.

Still Trusting

This week started hard. Thomas left for camp Monday morning and I took Ben and Carson to VBS. 

I had that empty nest feeling... You'd think that it would be an appreciated break after being in an apartment for 2 weeks. 

I've always loved having the boys around. Not that I don't want them to mature, grow, hit milestones, but I love breaks and summer and having them home. Don't get me wrong, there's moments I want to lock myself in a closest with some phish food and a good book, but I look at the grand scheme of things and it freaks me out how short their time at home is.

I had plenty to do in the short 3 hours they were in VBS. There's so much paperwork when moving... the house, the schools, the bills, the cars..... Never ending! It WAS very nice to do all that without 3 kids in tow. 

This week we met with environmental health. They were very helpful and told us all that needed to be done to get the septic up to code. We then conveyed that to the seller and at first, we didn't know if the seller was going to get it all done in the time frame set up on our contract. We have until July 1st to cancel our offer. We wanted to be sure he was going to get on top of it before this time. Then they have until July 30th, our close date, to get all the work done. 

I went to register the kids for school today and they would not let me without a permanent address. Which we do not have one at this time. Currently we have the apartment until July 31st. The lady told me to come back on the 31st with the paperwork from closing and they'll register them... They start school August 3rd... Cutting it a little close. Also, our stuff is set to arrive the 3rd.... It's a little stressful! 

After leaving the school, I had anxiety. Why is it so hard to just BE in this time? Tim sent me a text that was very encouraging. We agreed to just let it be and trust.... Again. :-) We know we are taken care of. We just need to trust. We remind ourselves daily..... Trust. About 4 hours later we got an email from our realtor passing on information about the progress that is being made on the house. It was so encouraging. It was such a blessing. Perfect timing. We would have been ok not knowing, but God is taking care of us.

Father's Day

Today I am so thankful for my husband. He loves his kids well. He puts their needs above his own. He gets splashed in the face, kicked in the boy parts, hung on by 6 little hands and loses board games with a smile. It's amazing to be a part of the legacy he is creating. Watching 3 pairs of eyes look up to all he does. It blesses me. Especially because I did not have that experience growing up. I am proud of him. Happy Father's Day to an amazing example. 

Yesterday we went to Savannah. It was a much needed trip. Time away from the apartment and work and time together. We went to Tybee Island.. 

After relaxing and playing at the HOT beach... It was over 100 and heat index was high... We went to dinner at The Pirates House. Fun atmosphere and good food! I was impressed by the shrimp kids meal..

So was Ben!

This week is a big week coming up. Not only do we find out about the house, Thomas is going to PRETEEN camp... When did that happen!?!? The church we are going to is having their summer camp and it just happened to be next week. Thomas is beyond excited! I also signed Ben and Carson up for VBS at a nearby church. It will be great for them to have some interaction with kids their ages. 

Trust

This morning I'm learning about trust.

We want our lives all packaged up with a bow on top, like a gift we've asked for and we know what's inside. It doesn't work that way. We are called to trust. Really when you think about it it's not that much to ask. A God who created us, knit us together, knows our thoughts, planned our each moment, loves us and wants the best for us. Why is it so hard to trust?

Fear. Fear is why we don't trust. "Though fear stalks you, it can not harm you, as long as you cling to My hand." Peace comes when there is no fear. Fear has no room when we trust. We should not lean on what we understand to be truth. We do not know the whole picture. Even if we did, we most likely wouldn't understand it. It wouldn't make sense in our one dimensional mind. We can not see past, present and future at once. We do not know how others will affect our lives. Only He who created it all can.

Trust is what brings peace. I choose to trust. I choose peace.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Fun

Today we went to see the Lego movie at the theatre. They show older movies for $1 on Tuesdays and Thursday's. The kids liked that! They had the air conditioning so high, when we walked out the boys we happy it was so hot out because they were cold! It was 96 :-)

Don't mind Carson.... He said he didn't want to smile ... Rough life! 

Aside from peace, I'm really trying to have joy in this time. The kids can totally sense when I'm stressed. I don't want it to rub off on them. Thomas has started asking 100 questions every time we look or talk about houses. He asks what school they'll go to, about a pool, about kids in the neighborhood... All the stuff we ask the realtor... I know God will take care of us. I need to start acting like it. It's always easy to tell how your acting when you have kids! They are imitators! Whether they know it or not they naturally just do, act, say, think how we do. Keeps me in check!

We were sent the sellers disclosure to sign after we put in an offer. As I was reviewing it, I realized the septic tank was only big enough for a four bedroom house, the house has seven bedrooms. I asked the realtor to look into it and come to find out it has been that way for the 10 years. I guess the past owner never noticed. So now along with waiting to hear from environmental health about a pool, they also have to tell us if we can add another septic and still have room for a pool. 

It seems that every time we get close, something else comes up. Right now if everything goes smoothly, we will close July 30th and kids start school August 3rd. Bit of a time crunch... It doesn't help that we are waiting on a bunch of people that do not care about our time crunch.

I've been trying to keep the kids busy to help cut back on the fighting.... Yesterday we went to Monkey Joe's. Kids had fun. It was nice to change things up a bit. 

Then I went to Walmart and let them each pick a crafty type item that they could do instead of being attached to electronics. The past two days have been very pleasant. They have been painting, coloring, crafting and NOT fighting! 

If I would have know our stay here, in the apartment, was going to be a couple months, I would have planned differently. I would have brought some toys for starters. Overall it has been good though. I am thankful to be able to run out and get some nonessential, essential items. 

Week One Done!

Yesterday we went to church at Warner Robins First Nazarene Church. Why do churches have to have such long names? Anyway, it was the same church we went to when we came in May, when we were house hunting. People are really nice there and they just got a new pastor, it was his second week. Which by the way we are STILL house hunting! Ug! Today we put an offer on a 3rd home. Who would have thought we would put 3 offers on 3 different houses in 3 weeks? It has great potential. A lot of room and a big lot. But it needs some work. It doesn't seem to have been kept up very well. We should know by tonight if the seller accepts it.

Yesterday was our anniversary also.... After church, we had lunch at Moe's then looked at more houses. We then came home and relaxed... First day we didn't swim! It started thunder and lightening so we didn't have a chance. Tim got take out from a rib place, it was good. And. Cheesecake for dessert. Tim got me these....

Today marks one week we've been in Georgia. I made my first trip to Walmart with 3 kids in tow, every mothers dream way to spend a couple hours. It has only been a week and I am tired of take out. Don't get me wrong, it's nice not cooking, especially when I have 3 pans, 1 bowl, 2 spoons and a latel, AND no spices.... but everyday at 4 o'clock, going out to get something is getting old. And there's about 3 options close. So as much as my kids would love to have chic-fil-a every night for dinner, me, not so much.

This is us just hanging out...

Our days usually look like this.... Wake up, I read, boys play video games, breakfast, swim, lunch, movie, swim, dinner, hang out with Tim, either at the pool, playground or basketball hoop.... It really is a rough life. :-)

With so many things up in the air, we are fully dependent on Gods guidance. FULLY DEPENDENT. I was thinking this morning in the shower why it takes a move to assess these things in our lives? Shouldn't I be this dependent, this desperate to hear from God each day, for each decision? Sometimes at night I lay awake trying to figure it all out. I know it's not my job, but I go over everything in my head, wondering if we've missed something, or if it's just supposed to be this hard? Are we on this mini journey to finding a house for something more than finding a house? As odd as it sounds, I'm thankful when an offer doesn't go through because I trust it's Gods way of telling us "not this one". I rather go through putting 7 offers in and them not working out to finally get to the one God would have for us. To not deal with it all and just buy a house to be done with it and end up where we wanted, not God? No thanks! 

When you know God is calling you somewhere, but you don't know why, how can you say I want this house, or this neighborhood? What if us choosing that detail isn't in His plan? Tim and I know God sees our hearts and our desire to follow Him. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows the choices were going to make before we choose them. That's why we depend on Him to guide. And if we're not getting it, He's patient and continues to walk us down the path until we get where He has planned.

Another One Bites The Dust

House number 2 is not looking promising. We put in an offer and the seller countered the listing price due to not being able to pay realtor fees if he doesn't get full price. As our realtor looked into it more, the house is listed over what it would appraise for so we'd be paying more than it's worth... Needless to say we did not accept the counter offer and we've moved on.... We looked at 3 homes today. One had a super nice yard....

One didn't have a downstairs bedroom so it was out of the question, the last is still in the running, but needs some work. 

We are looking at a couple more tomorrow. Our realtor has been great. Above what I would expect and have experienced in the past. We're very pleased with her.

In better news... WE SOLD OUR HOUSE TODAY!!!!!! Such a relief. We totally have been in awe with how God has provided every single step of the way. He continues to take care of us. That's THE reason I'm not too worried (Ha!) about finding a house. I know He will provide.

It's getting a bit hard knowing we're going to be in limbo longer. We have a trip planned to Washington in July, when we were talking to our realtor about closing she said it's not likely to happen before that. We get back the 29th and the kids start school the 3rd... Yikes! That's a little pressure! I'm sure when it's all over these couple months won't seem that bad, but in it, it's a bit draining. The kids don't even want to look at houses anymore. Not that I blame them! 

Yesterday the kids had me take this picture...

They loved how the sun looked shining from behind the cloud. It totally made me think of God, or heaven, I'm not sure. But it's things like this, it's hard not to believe in God. That scenes like this just accidentally happen? I don't think so. 

It also reminds me of peace. The light, the white. To me they are signs of peace. It's amazing how God uses things around you when He's trying to teach you something. Today I read about the fruits of the spirit.... Love, joy, PEACE, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. The things we are supposed to possess, be know by, if we are in step with God, the Spirit. It's instructions like these that I feel I need to tattoo to my palm so throughout the day when I'm reacting to tough situations I can look down and remember to act in a manner that will represent a Spirit filled person. It's easy to remember in church, or even in the grocery store when eyes are on you. But at home (like bedtime) am I being gentle... Ouch! Or patient? Ug! Do I practice self control when I go for a (after the kids go to bed and I can eat crap I don't let them eat) snack? HA! Ya, let's stick with peace. 

Peace

It's day 4 in Georgia. 

In May, Mother's Day weekend actually, we came down to look for houses. We looked at 9 I think, in 2 days. We put an offer on one, but we did so contingent on being able to put a pool in. It had a septic tank and the lot wasn't very big so we wanted to be sure. We had environmental health come check it out and it was a no go. We canceled that offer. 

Yesterday we looked at a house. It has 5 bedrooms. The master bedroom is huge. And a good sized lot with trees around it, which is rare. But still no pool. Why do so many people live here without a pool? Especially with kids?!? So we put an offer on this house today. 

The journey for peace continues. Today I read this...

And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.” (Luke 1:76-79 NIV)

That pretty much sums it up. Our job here on earth... Called by Him, tell people in darkness about Him, and to walk in peace... It's a lot to take in. That God would call us His child? That He trusts us to bring the knowledge of salvation? And all while on the path of peace! Yikes. I feel I need a definition of peace...

freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.

synonyms:

tranquility, calm, restfulness, peace and quiet, peacefulness, quiet, quietness;

I want all those things... Quietness, tranquility, calmness, rest. So can I be at peace with myself? With God? Maybe that's what it's about, making time for all those things and that brings us peace? This is where I get confused. To me, peace isn't something I should have to "do"... It should just be, right? Wake up... Ahhhh... Peace! It's usually not like that for me. 

What if it's not a place, but a choice? What if we choose peace. Just like we choose joy, contentment and forgivness. We even have to choose love. Everyday we have choices that we sometimes forget are ours to make. I could have chose to freak out that the first house fell through and we are moving, ready or not, to a city where WE. KNOW. NO. ONE! Or I can choose to believe God has something better for us. And not necessarily better how I think is better, but His better. And I will always choose His better. I pray if I forget or get caught up in my better He closes doors, reroutes me, even moves me, to where His better is.

The In Between

So it feels like vacation. Which isn't a bad thing, but as you can imagine not much gets done and we are eating constantly! I've slept til 8 the past 2 days and I wake to this

It's ok for a season, but really, we may be going down hill fast....

These pictures capture each child perfectly..... Their personality and stage of life they're in.

So I'm trying to rest in Him in this time... Or at least find out what that means, to do and be, but still be aware that every minute He is here with me... Even by the pool, or in bed in the am before I'm fully awake, or in the moments I'm more of a referee than a mom. To let my soul rest in Him, in His perfectly peaceful presence. At this stage in life it seems unattainable.  When I think of peace I think of the quiet of the first heavy snow fall at night, or the chirping of birds in a big open field, or the crash of waves on a shore line... But peace in the midst of moving and 3 boys? That's a different peace, one harder to discover. One I must seek out intentionally. 

Yesterday we went to target for some necessities... You know, food, toilet paper, soccer ball and pool toys 😉.... After, I was sitting in the parking lot entering the address into the GPS and a frail older black lady with few teeth knocked on my car window. She asked for money for food. My initial response was no. She said ok and walked away. Then I thought, why not? At the moment I had a lot of cash in my wallet, which is rare. So I took some out and walked it over to her... She got the biggest smile on her face and said thank you about 6 times, then God Bless and walked away... It made me think. Did she really mean God Bless? Or is that something she just said to make me think she was good? Why do we say things like that? To impress? To portray ourselves in a certain way? Or do we mean it? Either way, it doesn't really matter. We're here to connect. To touch each others lives. I pray she is touched. Not by the money or what she did with it, but by the connection we made.

First one

Where to start... Tim and I were married in June of 2003 after meeting 18 months earlier on a cruise. We did the long distance thing for about 9 months. I decided to move from Long Beach, WA. Rochester, NY where he lived at the time. After one month of being there he proposed. Nine months later we were married in Tacoma, WA, went on our honeymoon in Jamaica, then to Watertown, NY for a second reception.

On February 25th, 2004 we had our first baby boy, Thomas Charles, who we named after Tim's older brother who has passed away. On February 15th, 2008 after four IUI's 2 years of trying to have another baby, we had our second baby boy, Benjamin Mark. He shares Tim's middle name. Just four quick months after giving birth, we found out I was pregnant and on March 29th, 2009, we had our third baby boy, Carson Albert. His middle name is after my aunt Alberta who passed away from cancer.

In 2010 we moved our family from Rochester to Watertown. Tim's father has MS and we wanted to help more than we could from Rochester. We had a house built and his parents moved in with us. We grew a lot in Watertown.... We were forever changed individually and as a family. We made friends there that will be a part of us no matter where we are.

In March Tim was offered a job in Warner Robins, GA. On June 8th 2015 we made the move from Watertown to Warner Robins. Tim has been working away from home since the beginning of April. Although we still don't have a house, its such a relief to be together as a family. The traveling back and forth and being apart was really starting to get to all of us.

So here I sit. In a 3 bedroom apartment, in limbo... Our house for sale in Watertown. All our stuff there with it. In a city we know no one. Seems crazy. But it's ok, because we know we are following Gods call. A call we didn't see coming. A call we never thought would take us to middle Georgia. But a call we are excited to accept and see where it takes us.